Love does not reject us – we reject love. How is this possible? When we are not experiencing love what is going on? If we are only looking on the surface of the situation, it appears that someone else is to blame. After all, someone is not loving us or has taken away love from us. So we blame them. We judge them. We close the door to our hearts and lock them out. We lose trust in them. We may even lose trust in life. After that we’re more careful about opening up to let love in. If we’re willing to look deeper into the situation to find what’s true about love, we must look deeper into ourselves. Does love really come from someone else? Who is it that is experiencing love? Isn’t it yourself? Did someone else open you up and put love inside of you? Not possible!
So who is it that holds the key to your heart? Who has the power to lock it up or open it wide? Did you give that key away?
This was the most painful and yet most powerful lesson I have ever learned. It took the sudden violent death of my husband and 13 year old daughter to teach me the truth about love. This was no fairy tale, it is the hard edge of reality. But first I had to experience a loss that took my whole outer life away. I was still here but the rest was gone. Overnight. So what is left? Could I change this reality? The only reality I have the power to change is my own thought process. Love itself is not a thought, but our minds color our thoughts and beliefs and that is what colors our experience of life. Love abides in an ever flowing stream permeating every cell of our being, every breath, each beat of our heart. I learned to access this love, to invite the experience of love with acceptance, inclusion, forgiveness, trust, compassion, gratitude. This is the just the beginning. Once the gates are open we can amplify the love experience by connecting with others, listening to our inner voice, listening to others with our full attention, sharing our thoughts and feelings honestly, being patient with ourself and others, having fun, laughing, singing, dancing and so much more. If we hold on to blame, judgment, exclusion, distance, fear, distrust, anger, resentment, guilt, regret – what are we choosing?
We are rejecting love when we lock ourselves up in all the ways we manage to do that. Love is ever-inviting, ever present, patient, flowing, accepting. Are you willing? When I accepted my negative thoughts and feelings with love, embraced them for what they were and simply returned them to the whole of my being, no longer choosing that experience, I began to experience love in abundance, in a way I never knew was possible. That is now my true reality. This is a reality I choose every day in every way I can. Love is never lost once we find our true selves. What’s true is what is at the core of our being. It’s what is the foundation of our experience – never changing, like the depths of the ocean. It’s the you beneath the surface changes of life. Consciousness, awareness, presence, all of these are terms for that ‘you’, that ‘I’. When Socrate so wisely advised ‘Know thyself’ – this is the self he was referring to. When Polonius advised Hamlet ‘To thine own self to be true’ this is the self he meant. When we reject love we are rejecting this self. This is the most painful rejection of all. When we embrace this self, we are embracing love.
How else do we reject love? Making fun of something we fear is pushing away that experience as we hide behind the mask of humor. Having an exit strategy before the flight is booked is pushing love away before it arrives. This is opting out of love-skimming the surface but never exploring the depths. We have free will choice, just know that one choice leads to another and outcomes are based on choices. What outcome do you truly want? To move beyond the ordinary into the realm of extraordinary requires both feet in, along with heart and mind. It’s trusting in love to guide the way to the next choice, and the next, expanding ourselves as we explore life to the fullest.